We never want to hear someone has lost trust in us. Especially not from someone we consider close to us. What does trusting someone really signify?
Trust, in a practical sense, means that you place confidence in someone to be honest with you, faithful to you, keep promises, vows and confidences and not abandon you. Trust does need to be combined with a willingness to forgive and grows best in an environment of acceptance and love. Our Father in heaven desires for us to live in love, trust and forgiveness.
There’s no magic trust machine, you don’t put in a few quarters and out drops a can of trust — trust grows over time. People are complex, broken beings therefore, previous hurts, fears or losses can impede their determination to trust and/or be truthful in a relationship. But, people have the capacity and the ability to change and to grow in trust and truthfulness. You can rebuild trust in broken relationships when you make a choice to do so with the help of God.
People are human, frail, and sinful. Therefore, we need a realistic type of trust when we choose to trust someone. Trusting grows in relationships over time because as we spend time together with someone we build knowledge, understanding and authenticity. We gain insight into another person’s character, needs, motivations and fears.
Unconditional love develops trust because as we express this kind of love towards someone — generally he or she will sense our acceptance and feel comfortable to be vulnerable and honest about their feelings. Unconditional love actually builds self-esteem in others and alleviates their fears of rejection. People learn that they can be authentic with us about their feelings, opinions, and failures. The result is a growing trust in the other person. Not because that person is perfect but because that person is growing in honesty and openness.
As we look at ourselves, we will never be perfect and therefore, we will probably disappoint our loved ones, friends and associates as well. We can promise to never say something hurtful or never tell a lie or never exaggerate or always keep our promises or (you name it) but since we are human we will also make mistakes and disappoint that person. The only thing you or I can promise is to grow, to seek God and ask Him for strength to change. Then you and I will become more trustworthy in our relationships, though we will never be perfect.
Every human relationship will suffer hurt. Thus, we all need to become better forgivers and confessors. That ability to reconcile and spirit of humbleness will prove the depth of our love and commitment.
The components of love, forgiveness and commitment are as necessary to trust in a relationship as is honesty. Forgiveness gives us the chance to start over and trust another fallible human being again. Love helps to nourish trust. Commitment and honesty provide accountability to one another.
The ability to forgive is rooted in being forgiven ourselves. In the Bible it says that God loves the world so much that he sent his only son so that we could be forgiven. John 3:16 As people we all make mistakes, not one of us can live up to the standard God set on our own. But God promises that if we accept what Jesus did for us, we can be forgiven. The slate can be wiped clean no matter what has happened in the past. God promises us strength for today and bright hope for the future. Whatever happened in your yesterdays God can take care of all of your tomorrows.
See you next Sunday.
MJ